First day back

Well, today was my first day back to work. It could have been better. Everyone keeps asking me, " So, how was it? Did you miss her?" Well, of course I missed her, but with all the catching up I was having to do, I didn't have time to really think about it! My sub was horrible. It took her 7 weeks to get through what I could have done in a month. My students are so far behind!! So many things in my room are either lost, stolen, or broke. I mean I leave with everything in great condition and working and I get there today to find my printer won't feed the paper right, my lid to my scanner is torn off, my big package of pencils are gone, my connection between my computer and t.v is gone, all my really good ink pens are gone, and... there's probably more but I can't think about it.

That's what Mr. Small (principal) gets for hiring someone just out of high school herself! Oh well, I just got to keep moving forward.

Well Ellison is screaming to eat so that's all for today!

Colic

I have determined that my child has colic. If you don't know what colic is it is a prolonged period of unexplained crying during which nothing seems to be of comfort. I came to this conclusion last night after putting up with this fussiness every night this week. It always starts about the same time, 8-9 pm. I was trying to start a bedtime routine, bath, feed, then bed. Well, Monday night I thought that the bath was the problem, so I did not give her a bath Tuesday or Wednesday night. Tuesday night I thought maybe it was something that I ate, so Wednesday I really watched what I ate. Wednesday I thought maybe it was the formula I had given her earlier that day, so Thursday I didn't give her any formula. Guess what happened each and every night... she would be hungry so I would nurse, but instead she would nurse for a few minutes and pull off violently (ouch!!) and start screaming. She would latch back on and nurse and few more minutes and start all over again. We put it off as gas, because sometimes she will pass gas or have a dirty diaper and stop crying. This week, she hasn't done either. I have tried everything. I rock her, she cries. I try to burp her, she cries. I walk with her... yes, that did it... nope she cries again. I lay her down, she cries. I give her a passy, it works for a few minutes, then she cries. Eventually (about 12-1am) she gives out and falls to sleep.

Now, my problem with this is that I like my sleep. I have to start back to work Monday so I will not be able to get up and feed her then go back to sleep till 9 -10 am like I have been. When I do that I am fine. Now I am going to have to stay up and get up early with no morning nap!!! I am really scared at how I am going to take it next week. Maybe mommy mode will kick in and I will be fine with the lack of sleep.

If anyone has ever had this happen to them, please please give me some advise. Nothing seems to comfort her!! Should I take her to the doctor and see if something else is wrong with her? What can I do?!?!

I hate being an adult!

Don't you hate being an adult? I do. It seems like all I do is pay bills and work to have money to pay bills. It's never ending!! And you can never get ahead!! Oh how I wish to have my care free high school days back. At the time, I couldn't wait to be an adult and be on my own. I want to do what I wanted when I wanted and no parents to tell me I was wrong. Boy, if I could go back to when I was saying that I would slap myself so hard I wouldn't know what hit me. I had no bills and no job, but I had a car and money to do what I wanted. Yes, I was one of the spoiled girls. Mommy and daddy took care of me. Mom did ALL the house work, and dad... well lets just say if I wanted something dad was the man. I really didn't have to do anything!!!!! No chores, no job, no bills, nothing but playing sports and doing homework. I had the ideal life!! I WANT IT BACK!!!

I mean, I love being married and being a mom! But I hate having to be stressed out everyday about everything!! Pardon the language, but it SUCKS! This is what goes on in my head everyday...

What time to I need to get up in order to get myself and Ellison ready? Are my clothes cleaned and ironed? Do I have bottles cleaned and ready? Can I afford to buy this or that? Did I pay the bills that are probably due next week? Why is my check book off with the bank? Where will I find the money to pay this unexpected bill? Is my car riding funny and making a weird sound? How am I going to pay for that? When can I clean the house? When can I do the dishes and cook supper? When can I do the laundry? And so on and so on and so on... you get the picture?

I want to have my life I have now, but have mom and dad pay for me and do the house work. Is that too much to ask?

I know you have heard the saying..."If I knew then what I know now." Well, if I knew I would be making just enough to live off of, I would have saved all my money that I spent on stupid stuff when I was in college. I got a job during college just to have some spending money and not always have to ask mom and dad. You see I started to feel bad. But that money was my money. Not gas money or car payment or insurance payment... but my money! I would buy clothes and other stuff like that. Now, I wish someone would have told me to be smart and save it! Is it possible to go back and tell myself that? Can I wake up tomorrow and have that money in my bank account?

(thought broken by Ellison crying)

Well, now that I have woke up from my dream, I guess being an adult is really not that bad. Like I said earlier, I am my own boss. I can do what I want when I want. But it's still nice to think about!

Happy Easter

My beautiful baby Ellison Grace

Cousin Gage just LOVES holding Ellie

Great Grandmaw Foster and Ellie

Great Grandmaw Foster and all her great grandkids... Gage is a little camera shy

Cousin Gabe and Ellie

5 generations

In the beginning...

I guess I need to start from the beginning. Josh and I have been married almost three years now. We finally got pregnant after about six months of trying. I have to say, we were more than excited when we found out. I had a really great pregnancy. No morning sickness, no aches or pains, not alot of weight gain. As my doctor said "a textbook pregnancy". I was induced on Feb. 4th, 2008. I don't think either of us got any sleep the night before. We were so excited!! We got to the hospital at 5 am, admitted at 6am, broke my water and started pitocin at 8 am and she was born at 11:26 am. It went by so fast, I don't think I really had time to react.

So far these last 7 weeks have been a learning experience for both of us. We have nephews and knew the basic stuff of child care, but it really is completely different when it's your child. You have to be the mind reader and try to figure out why your child won't quit crying at 3 am. Is it the diaper... NO, is it she's hungry... NO, it is she's hot or cold... NO, is it she just wants to be held... NO, is it she just wants to test mom and dad's reaction to her continuous screaming... DING DING YOUR ARE CORRECT! But when she is laying in your arms and smiling or sleeping... that makes up for all the other times. I know you have heard this time and time again, but I never believed in love at first sight until I had her. It's wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time.

I do have to say that Ellison really is a great baby. She sleeps for at least 5 hours when we first put her down, and then she will eat and sleep for another 4 hours. Throughout the day she sleeps about an hour but eats every 3 hours. Sometimes she will love mommy enough to sleep for 3 hours so she can get things done.

Next week will be the true test for me though. I will start back to school. We have been leaving her and going on date night or just to Walmart and that is not a problem to do. I am ready to get back to my normal routine... as normal as it can be now. I have always told Josh that I can not be a stay at home mom. I just about die during the summer because I am stuck in the house all day. In fact I am going crazy now, ready to get out! Everyone thinks I am weird for not wanting to stay at home. It might change once I am away from her for more than a couple of hours. We will just have to see. I am worried how getting ready in the morning, feeding her and getting out of the door on time is going to be. I am also worried about how I am going to find the time and privacy to pump at school. I am going to have to do it at some point. I won't be able to handle it if I don't!

Well I think I have bored you guys enough. Please keep reading and visiting my blog!!

First Time blogger

Well, apparently this is the thing to do. Lots of people I know have blogs and I never thought I really wanted one. Well, now that I have a daughter, I decided that it would be pretty neat to create a blog for my family. I love to show her off and what better way to do it. Plus, we have such busy lives that this will be a way for everyone to keep up with us. I hope that I can make my blog as interesting as everyone else has.