Falling asleep

Tonight I let Ellie fall asleep on her own. I have been wanting to do this (mainly because she needs to start learning how). I have been taking the easy way out and just rocking her to sleep every night. Then I would gently get out of the rocking chair, slowly walk into her bedroom, gently lay her down, keep my head touching hers while patting her back, and slowly take my hands away so I will not wake her. That's may routine every night!

Tonight I had the opportunity to let her cry it out without Josh here to be her "knight in shinning armor". Let me explain: Ellie has, in the past, woke up at 3 in the morning and would not go back to sleep. I would get Josh up and let him try to help. He would eventually get frustrated (like me) and would put her in her bed to cry it out. He would last about 2 minutes, then have to go in there to get her. Since he was not here tonight (out with buddies) I decided to give it a try. I felt soooo bad for letting her scream (and I mean SCREAM) but I knew I had to do it. I went on with doing my other nightly routines (bottle washing, formula making, fixing her bag for next day). After about 15 minutes, her screams became whines. By 20 minutes, she was asleep. I went in and checked on her and she had gotten her blanket (it was laying on the side of her crib at the end) and was snuggling with. It also looked like she was sucking her thumb or the blanket; I couldn't tell. I felt so bad for making her do that. I hope she still loves me in the morning. I just kept starting at her sleeping and I apologized for making her do that (I guess I thought she could hear and understand me). I kissed her goodnight and finished my other stuff around the house.

I am so proud of myself and Ellie that I had to write about it. I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear but its my life right now. Look on here tomorrow to see Gage's 3rd Birthday party pictures!!!